Many have been misinformed about the true nature of marriage. The boys were taught that love doesn’t matter. The girls were taught that trust isn’t necessary. Dangerous myths handed down to our generation contribute hugely to the present rate at which marriages are failing today.
One day, I overheard a mother telling her daughter that she shouldn’t place her husband on her head; rather, she should place him on the tip of her shoulder, such that whenever the man ‘misbehaves’, she would simply shrug him off. What an awful piece of advice!
What happened to love, trust, loyalty, sacrifice and other words like these which are sine qua non to an healthy marriage? Humans have evolved into a state of selfishness and survival of the fittest, and these mentalities have eaten into the marriage institution. Parents should be careful of what they teach the young ones and the young, too should learn how to filter information they get, no matter how convincing it sounds.
Marriage is not always what couples think it is. The bed of roses will soon become littered with diapers, the looks will fade and the youthfulness will wane. What remains is how much you connect. Connecting is 50% physical chemistry and 50% verbal communication. A successful marriage is a product of these two.
Ignore the calluses and keep holding your spouse’s hands. Don’t let a day pass without talking with your spouse. I’m not asking you to talk about how your day went, talk about how much you miss them, and how you wish to make up the missed time to them. There is no universal language in marriage, you have to agree with your spouse and speak the language that works for you: the one you both understand.