PREGNANCY TAKES TWO

After 5 minutes of drama, you deposit 100 million hypermotile spermatozoa (if only the unused 99,999,999 could be converted into money…chai!), you stand up, take a shower and snooze off, or go watch EPL. There and then, the real work begins: complex processes of embryology and hormonal changes in your wife’s body…

Fast forward to 4 weeks later… She starts spitting everywhere like a venomous snake. She starts throwing up every morning like a drunkard. She starts craving for wood, clay, paper or anything  that has no taste and nutritional value. The abdomen now becomes an inflated balloon. “Figure-of-8” now becomes “egg-on-stick”. On top of all these, you still ask her to pound yam for you. At the end of the day, you still tell her to come over for more drama!

Oga, you are a wicked somebody!

You’re not just the sperm donor and ATM here. You are the co-owner of this pregnancy. Pay attention, be involved and lessen her burden. Afterall, the baby will be born to bear your name!

Bros, I have some suggestions for you. Please, assist her in the kitchen when you’re free. Accompany her to the antenatal clinic as many times as you can. Give her a passionate massage without expecting anything in return. Do the shopping once in a while unless she insists that she would do it by herself…

You’re too busy abi? I know. I know. But, you can’t possibly be busier than the Prophet (saw) who never ceased to take care of his wives despite his dawah, military expeditions and other schedules. He (saw) said: “The best among you are those who are best in character towards their women”. (Tirmidhi)

…Allaahu Musta’ãn.

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